Shelly Nyo

“Words of Affirmation” is a phrase that I automatically feel uplifted by. I don’t know why. Its almost as if the phrase is saying, “Hey there – I’ve got your back.” Most of the contexts in which I have heard about Words of Affirmation have to do with the love languages. I’m going to approach this post from a slightly different perspective, one in which our “words” of affirmation are more so just affirmations of all sorts – words, people, places, etc.

One thing I’ve learned is that words of affirmation may not always come from the environment around us. Many years ago I was in an environment in which I did not have many affirming voices around me. I was shy and just trying to find my footing in the world, all while in a place where it was expected that people would have “big” personalities. I didn’t fit in, my performance was suffering, and I was scared. Initially, in an effort to fit in, I’d try to hang around people who, although nice to my face (sometimes), weren’t so nice when my back was turned, so to speak. I knew hanging around these people was bad for me, but I found the thought of being alone to be scary. After all, isn’t human-to-human interaction the reason we were placed on this Earth? Anyhow, I’d keep hanging around these people, but always feel bad after leaving their presence.

There were two strikes working against me. The environment was not great and I was not connecting with many people around me. Some people may have thrown in the towel and quit. But I knew what my purpose was, why God had placed it into my heart to take that step with my career. In this moment, God placed an amazing and freeing thought into my heart, “You have to affirm yourself.” In this context, it meant cutting some influences out of my life that were not healthy. The first was those fiendships (yes, you read that correctly).

It took some time for me to work up the courage to simply walk away. From those relationships, I mean. Not from my calling. In this case, my words of affirmation to myself were that God’s plan for my life would not fall by the wayside, even if separating myself from those people meant I would be lonely for a while (obviously, my life has moved on beautifully, and I am NOT lonely).

There is something incredibly empowering about being in the center of God’s will for my life — where I am intended to be. Right now, it looks like single, highly motivated, and adding value to this world everyday. The assurance of God’s approval is a defense against my worst critics, and a living fountain of affirmation that never runs dry.

What does it mean to be in the center of God’s will? God has made it clear what we should be: “Be reconciled to God.” (2 Corinthians 5:19-21) What does that mean? We are sinners who are not perfect (Romans 3:23). We lie, we steal, we cheat. We make excuses (I know I do). But God is perfect (Matthew 5:48). Because He is holy, as much as He loves us, He must punish sin. Without repentance, this is eternal separation from Him. On Earth, one of the things this separation entails (in addition to the prospect of eternal separation from God) is not being led by His Spirit. Now, God created you. He created me. If the one who created us – the one who gave us the drive to do, and think, and act – is not at the helm of this ship, its no wonder we feel lost and without direction. “For its in Him that we live and move and have our being.” And its no wonder we find ourselves outside of the center of God’s will, and not knowing how to find it. We must know God to know his will. I have included several resources for how to begin your journey with God, starting with the prayer of salvation, below.

So here we have two great ideas – being in the center of God’s will as affirmation for ourselves and existence, and purposely removing things that ruin our peace. This is how I have worked to build an affirming environment around myself. When I surround myself with the right people, even their criticisms are meant to build me up, and are further affirmations.

I’ve learned that sometimes we have to create an environment for ourselves that gives us affirmation – gravitating towards those people, places, or things that affirm our existence (not necessarily our actions), and letting go of, or distancing ourselves from those things that do not.

Many people, young and old alike, do not affirm the thought of a 30-something single woman. However, I know that at this point of my life, I am where I am supposed to be, doing what I am supposed to be doing. I offer words of affirmation for myself – I affirm that I am beautiful, intelligent, driven, and the solution to a problem. God created me to be a solution to a problem, and to bring this world one step closer to His kingdom. I draw closer to those things that help me reflect God’s love to this world best.

I hope you enjoyed this post. I feel that words of affirmation are important, but I admit, I struggled to write this post because I had to think of how I truly find affirmation, as I have stated above. Not always through words, but mostly through ensuring that I am following God, and surrounding myself with people, places, and things that help me reflect Him best, both inside and out. I am not perfect, but I strive to be perfect (with God’s help of course) just as my Heavenly Father is perfect.

If you would like to learn more about knowing God, how to start a relationship with God, I encourage you to check out the resources below:

(1) Prayer of Salvation: https://bibleinspirations.org/sinners-prayer-prayer-of-salvation/

(2) Explanation by Joel Osteen: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L7xSw21YusI

There are countless other resources. My advice would be to find a Bible-teaching church to attend, a group of people you can grow with.

If you said the prayer of salvation, please let me know in the comments below or by email! The decision for Christ is the most important decision you will make in your life. Christ is my friend – He has walked with me, affirming me through thick and thin, and even today. I wake up with hope and excitement about living in the center of God’s will – all of the most thrilling experiences in my life have come by going through a door that God opened. I have become sensitive to hearing God’s voice and following Him, all because I accepted Jesus into my heart. I would be more than happy to give you next steps if you have made this important decision for a God who loves you. Let me know!

~~ “Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you” ~~ James 4:8